I don’t assume to speak for all women when I write this. But I do know what it’s been like for me to try and find a place in the world of comics. Many people think that comic books just don’t appeal to women, but the real reason women readers are more rare goes much deeper than that.

I remember reading comics as a little girl. I read Archie and Casper and an occasional Superman, but at some predetermined time, it became obvious that I wasn’t supposed to read them anymore. Granted, my mother would still buy me Betty and Veronica, but anything else was out of the question. Why would I want to read those other titles or be around the boys who did? And so I did what all good little girls are trained to do; I gave in gracefully and went away.

While my male friends trouped off to the comic rack at the corner grocery store, I played with my Fashion Plates and Easy Bake Oven. The boys were taking their first tentative steps to enter the comic book kingdom, reading a variety of titles, finding their favorites, learning years of history and hero origins, as well as developing the vocabulary and discourses of this world. In essence, they were becoming initiated into a world I had no idea existed. That is, until I became an adult.

As a grown woman, I stumbled onto comics once again. And they had grown up as well. Fabulous artwork, transgressive plotlines, and the pages! Glossy panels rather than the rough and color poor newsprint. I was in heaven!! I wanted to read more, but I wasn’t sure where to start. There were some helpful souls who directed me to some great titles, but I found entrance into this world meant a lot more than just finding and reading comics I liked. Comic book readers are a group unto themselves, and any interaction with this group brings problems of its own.

In my experience there are three assumptions that the boys club of comic book readers make about girls and comics.

1. That girls are only interested in "girl" titles (which are few and far between, and not always that interesting)
2. That girls are only dabblers because of their significant others, or
3. That they’re lesbians (and therefore play by boys rules anyway, right?)

Each of these options (even though they are occasionally true) are not really the reason girls are daunted by the comic world. As I’ve mentioned before, many of us have missed the initiation process as well as years as comic book connoisseurs. But we also often find it hard to find a place in groups of well-meaning, comic loving men.

Since women often lack an extensive background when they first enter the comic world, they find that men still assume that they share the same experiences and should be able to communicate at the same level immediately. This makes quite a daunting, apparently closed circle, especially when many of the male members allow us to assume that they, in fact, do know everything about comics. That sort of pressure usually makes women feel that they have two options: being a good girl, giving up gracefully and going home, or putting on a knowledgeable but false front. I fell in love with the world of comics, and so I took the second option. By making this decision, I probably missed tons of learning experiences and some great reads, but I felt I had to do this to keep from being "kicked out of the club."

In the meantime, I tried to find my way in this world by myself, but it was like learning Japanese by being stranded in Tokyo. It was hard to try and learn what others had taken lifetimes to pick up. But it was important to keep working, because without that knowledge, you’re often treated like the annoying, tag-a-long kid sister or your voice in a group is always subordinated (if it is heard at all) by the more knowledgeable male voices, even if you happen to have something meaningful to contribute. This makes women who are already insecure even more so. And we are then tempted to return to our first option and go home to play with our dolls (and not the Todd McFarlane kind, either!).

I don’t mean to suggest that the fault for women’s absence lies solely in men. The option women need to take is to be honest about our lack of knowledge, but unapologetic about it as well. No one learns everything in one day, and even though we are the "new kids" we still have important things to say about the industry. We are the ones who need to remind everyone else that we aren’t perfect, nor should we be. Perhaps the idea that we need to know everything stems from the fact that a male dominated subculture, we imitate the male tendency to use pretence in the struggle for the title of comics "Alpha male." Or perhaps our own insecurities make us feel like we’re required to be gurus in order to justify our very presence. But whatever the reason, we need to make our egos take a back seat to the truth, because only our honest interaction with the male population of this world can allow us the chance we need to become a real part of the comic club.

I also think that we need to lay some of the blame for women’s absence at the feet of the production world. I don’t mean to suggest that we need more "girl titles" or women heroes (although that would be OK), or that plots need to be more "touchy-feely," but comics need to be made a real option for girls and women. We need marketing which reaches the far off world of the "girl" and lets us know that there is a place for us in the comic book realm and that comics are an appropriate and welcoming place for women.