Phil Druker/ Department of English/ UI  English317

Phil Druker/ Enviro Writing.                                    NAME____________________________-

Style Check and Revision Exercise

1.Pick a paragraph from page 2 or 3 of your section.  Cut and paste it onto a new page and then cut and paste this assignment onto that page.

2.Count the number of words in each sentence:

S1

S2

S3

S4

S5

S6

S7

S8

S9

S 10_________
total # of words =   _______________

Calculate the average sentence length:  total # words/# sentences  = _________

3.Circle the BE verbs in the paragraph. BE verbs = am, is, are, was, were, been, being, be

4.Count the number of BE verbs.  Divide this number by the number of sentences in the paragraph and X 100%.  This gives the percentage of BE verbs per sentence.  (This percentage should be less that 33%.)  Show the calculation here:

5. Put a square around the passive verbs.  Passive =  BE verb + verb+ past form  (see p. 35).

     examples: was broken, is seen, was asked, will be delivered, has been dropped

6. Count the number of passive sentences. Divide this number by the number of sentences in the paragraph and multiply X 100%.  This gives the percentage of PASSIVE verbs per sentence.  (This number should be less that 33%.) Show the calculation here:

7.  Put a star above transition words (see the top of page 28):  This indicates you have a complex sentence.  Number of complex sentences/number of sentences X 100= % complex sentences.

8.  Put two stars above any “conjunts.” (See page 28, bottom)

If you don't use any "conjunts," can you add any in the paragraph?

9. Revise two sentences with BE verbs in them to avoid the Be verb.

10. Revise sentences with passive sentences to make them active as possible.

11.  Try to combine a couple sentences.  OR if your sentences are already long, try to break two or three sentences into shorter pieces and then re-combine them.

When you revise, remember clarity is more important than readibility.