- Avoid “there is/are/was/were”
phrases.
Wrong:
There are several
advantages to genetic screening. (7 words)
Better: Genetic screening presents several advantages. (5 words)
Wrong:
There has been a lot of research done to determine its causes. (12
wds)
Better: A lot of research has been done to determine its causes.
(11 wds)
Best: Much research has been done to determine its causes. (9 wds)
Wrong:
There were many factors
that affected this situation. (8 wds)
Better: There were
Many factors that affected
this situation. (5 wds)
NOTE: many times you can delete “there is + that or
which”
Wrong:
There is one index that
provides the correct information. (9 words)
Better: There is One
index that provides the
correct information. (6 words)
Wrong:
There are several steps
which I plan to complete. (9 words)
Better: I plan to complete several steps. (6 words)
- Avoid “it is/was” at the
beginning of sentences:
Wrong:
It is recommended that we
complete more research. (8 words)
Better: We should complete more research. (5 words)
We recommend that we complete more research. (7 words)
Wrong: It
is our goal to serve the university community. (9 words)
Better: Our goal is to serve the university community. (8 words)
- Avoid excessive words:
Wrong: This method
is effective at removing
oil from the surface. (10 words)
Better: This method effectively removes oil
from the surface. (8 words)
Best: This method effectively removes surface oil. (6 words)
Wrong:
The second reason is that Americans believe …. (7 words)
Better: Second, Americans believe…. (3 words)
- Avoid nominalizations. Use verbs
(action words) instead of nouns (things) or adjectives (descriptive
words):
Wrong: Indirect predator
control is the exclusion of
predators through means such as…. (12 words)
Better: Indirect predator control
excludes predators through
means such as (9 words)
Wrong: This
is dependant on fire. (5
words)
Better: This depends
on fire. (4 words)
Wrong: They did not
give an explanation for the
debacle. (9 words)
Better: They did not
explain the debacle. (6 words)
Wrong: The increasing electrical output requires
the addition of extra
modules. (10 wds)
Better: The increasing electrical output requires
adding extra modules. (8
words)
- Avoid strings of prepositional
phrases:
Wrong: The states
determined that there was a very real threat
of the lack
of depository sites
for the waste
from the nuclear plants
at locations
outside the region. (String
of 6 phrases)
Better: The states determined that the lack
of nuclear waste depository sites
at locations
outside their region posed
a real threat. (String of 3 phrases)
